Oscar Fashion Predictions: Nostalgia Edition (Special Guest: Joan Collins)
I watch the Oscars every year.
I used to watch the Oscar-nominated movies every year, too. But then I had babies and now I watch True and the Rainbow Kingdom on repeat instead.
(Thanks to Netflix and iTunes, I did manage to see Best Picture nominees Roma, Black Panther and A Star Is Born. I’m rooting for Roma. Although Lady Gaga made me sob and I never thought I’d ever type that phrase. So there’s that.)
I also watch the pre-show every year. Because the last time I bought a dress was in 2013 — I think? — and I need to know that there are people out there, somewhere, who still wear nice things. I need to know that fashion isn’t dead, it just feels that way.
So here’s what I want to see on the red carpet tomorrow. Everything old is new again — my favourite local boutique just held a Golden Girls party to confirm this — so I’m expecting Alexis Carrington to make an appearance.
My first Oscar memory — We all have one of these, right? — is of Claire Danes in her pale blue Narciso Rodriguez cashmere tee and skirt skirt. Let’s bring back those sleeves, people.
Speaking of tees, why not push the look a little further and reference my favourite Meg Ryan red-carpet look of all time? (Bonus points if you get political with your formal T-shirt of choice.)
Just go all the way. I have been waiting a long time for this look to return. Do it for the chilly people, A-listers.
Go big-shouldered or go home.
Followed by Dynasty: All The Feathers Edition.
Let’s just have a Joan Collins-only red carpet. Cool?
The Little Mermaid is out of the vault!…and onto the red carpet?
The cut-and-paste master.
And last but certainly not least, what’s more nostalgic than….
Please, someone important, wear this dress. You can shimmy! It doesn’t need ironing! You will bring joy to the masses! You will WIN THE OSCARS.