Onesie by TheOystersPearl
After spending most of yesterday in the sun, I woke up this morning with a throbbing headache and no desire to do anything.
I was lounging on the couch in my pjs, drinking reheated day-old coffee, when I asked my husband a very important question:
ME: How do the Kardashians have the time and energy to spend, like, 5 hours a day on their hair and makeup?
MATTHEW (according to me): Mayonnaise.
MATTHEW (for real): Nannies.
ME: I thought you said mayonnaise.
ME: I wish their secret was mayonnaise. I could do mayonnaise.
I eventually managed to shower and put on mascara. Tylenol fixed the headache. And I survived the day without a nanny OR mayonnaise.* Take that, Kardashians.**
*I ate mayo yesterday. And I'll eat mayo tomorrow. It's my favourite food group.
**I didn't, however, contour my face — although apparently nontouring is the new thing? I'm so behind — or blow-dry my hair. So maybe the Kardashians and their nannies still win.